I am a poor student.
Somehow, it hasn't become relevant to my life until very recently, but it seems now that everything I do is a reminder of the fact that I have no money.
There is a reason, friends, that I suffer from a chronic lack of sufficient funds. This reason goes all the way to the top. It is a conspiracy of the highest order.
'Invisible/Cyber Money'
As I have begun to buy things online and become ever-more reliant on my debit card, I find myself unable to monitor my spending habits.
Getting on a bus, for example, is a game of Russian Roulette. I board the vehicle and I am haunted by visons of swiping my Oyster, hearing that negative beep and seeing that red light flash... In my mind that flash is accompanied by an overbearing voice screaming 'YOU BROKE, BOY! BETTER GET THE HELL ON OUT OF THIS BUS', and as I do, I can feel the disapproving stares of all those I have to manoeuvre past to get out of the bus.
The most public of humiliations.
Worse yet, though, is the private kind.
After a great deal of time and effort, you have finally gotten the girl you like to agree to go out with you. All is going swimmingly. You've managed to make yourself look nice, you've been charming and conversation has flowed easily. It's time to pay the bill and, of course, you make a fuss about paying. You're a gentleman, after all! You get your card out and at first, you don't give it a second thought, but as the frown on your server deepens and the amount of paper being printed off by the card machine increases, you begin to sweat.
'Your card has been declined'.
One of the worst sentences you could possibly ever hear on a date. She'll end up paying and you won't even be able to look her in the eye for the rest of the evening.
The point I'm trying to make here is, invisible money is evil. We must stay away from it.
