The 'I's Have It

It has been pointed out to me by two of my friends that i have a very terrible habit. I refuse to capitalise the pronoun, i. Now, this started off as the innocent mistake of a young child, not quite sure of the basic rules of grammar, but now it has taken on a degree of purposeful defiance.

I laugh in the face of the accepted wisdom, with a smirk on my face and a maddened glint in my eye. It's with the same reckless abandon that i often litter my sentences with commas, all Willy Nilly, wherever i feel like... Okay, that's not entirely true. The truth is, i love grammar, far more than i should. I often find simple texts impossible to read because, improperly punctuated, my poor brain simply can't understand, often to my embarrassment.

No, my dislike of the capitalised did begin as the honest mistake of a young boy, but has grown in to a strange, child-like irrationality. When i see a capital I in a sea of lowercase letters, it just looks wring. To me, it is the equivalent of going to the heart of Croydon, a place well known for its 'Chavs', only to find Prince Charles, desperately trying and failing to blend in with the locals. It's just silly.

However, i am fully aware that this view is irrational and i am willing to consider adopting the correct way of writing, so i suggest we put it to the vote. Could all those in favour of me capitalising my pronoun Is, please raise their hands. Could all those against now do the same. Are there any abstentions? Right, the aye's have it, i'm not changing. I'll continue to wallow in my own brand of illiteracy. Before any of you demand a recount, i'd like to point out that this isn't a democracy, this is a dictatorship. The voting was purely for show. In closing i would like to thank you for reading my vacuous inanity and point out that i am fully aware of the fact that i used the phrase 'Willy Nilly' in this post, what of it?

I'd like to dedicate this to Wolfy and Miss Thing*

*Names have been changed to protect identities.